December 2025 | Anna Koehle
The holidays are often portrayed as joyful, family-centered celebrations. But for individuals and couples facing fertility challenges, this season can be filled with anxiety, grief, and isolation. In fact, 75% of people experiencing infertility report increased depression and anxiety during the holidays. If this sounds familiar, know that you are not alone—and there are steps you can take to protect your mental health and find peace.
Fertility struggles often bring a unique and complicated form of grief. It’s not always visible or acknowledged, which makes it harder to process. Fertility-related grief may feel ambiguous, cyclical, and isolating. You might feel hopeless, ashamed, or overwhelmed—especially during gatherings where others are celebrating children or pregnancy announcements.
Holidays can amplify feelings of loss or “otherness” for those trying to conceive. Family gatherings, holiday cards, and conversations about children can act as triggers. The pressure to participate in joyful traditions may leave you feeling emotionally drained. Being surrounded by reminders of the family you’re hoping for can heighten grief and anxiety.
Dr. Anna Koehle, a trauma-informed fertility and adoption expert at Peace At Home Parenting Solutions, shares these strategies for navigating the holiday season:
1. Plan Ahead for Triggers
Make a list of events, people, or questions that may be emotionally triggering. Planning a response to “When are you having kids?” can help reduce stress in the moment.
2. Set Clear Boundaries
Be intentional about what you say “yes” to. You’re allowed to decline invitations or step away from conversations that feel invasive or painful. Communicate simply and kindly but remain firm.
3. Give Yourself Permission
You don’t have to celebrate the holidays the same way every year. It’s OK to avoid events, change your plans, or start new traditions that feel supportive.
4. Focus Inward and Outward
Practice self-care with journaling, movement, or creating a vision board. At the same time, consider volunteering or helping others—it can redirect your focus and provide a sense of purpose.
5. Avoid Toxic Positivity
Well-meaning friends may offer advice like “Just relax and it’ll happen” or “You can always adopt.” These comments can be invalidating. Surround yourself with people who listen without judgment.
If someone in your life is facing infertility, remember: just being there can mean the world. Avoid offering quick fixes or unsolicited advice. Instead, offer your presence, validation, and patience.
Facing fertility challenges doesn’t mean you have to give up joy during the holidays. With boundaries, coping strategies, and supportive connections, you can create space for both grief and hope. At Peace At Home Parenting Solutions, we see you. You are not alone.
Questions? Email us at solutions@peaceathomeparenting.com
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