I recently attended an industry conference and was lucky enough to hear a talk on Adaptive Leadership. It is a powerful approach for guiding people through uncertainty, disruption, and transformation. It’s meant for the workplace, but as I listened, I kept thinking:
This is parenting.
Both parenting and leadership require helping others grow through change, even when there’s no clear path forward. They demand presence, patience, and purpose.
Here are 5 leadership insights that apply just as much to parenting as they do to guiding a team because let’s face it, parenting is the ultimate leadership role. And the reverse is also true: swap out “child” for team or co-worker and you’ve got a short article with great leadership tips. You’re welcome.
In leadership, we distinguish between:
Parenting is full of the latter. Whether it’s a toddler tantrum or teen mood swings, these are not “fixable” with quick answers or checklists.
Parenting Tip:
Instead of solving the problem, show up. Let go of the idea that you need to “fix it.” Stay present. Offer empathy, connection, and calm. Help your child feel seen and supported, even when the solution isn’t obvious. They might even surprise you with some ingenuity.
Adaptive leaders “get on the balcony”, they step back to see the big picture rather than staying embroiled in the dancefloor.
As parents, that pause can be powerful. Before you respond in frustration, breathe. Observe your child’s behavior… and your own.
Parenting Tip:
Try a 3-second pause. Take a breath. Check in with yourself. Notice your child’s stress cues and your own. Even a few seconds of breathing space can shift everything. Lock yourself in the bathroom if you have to. (We’ve all done it.)
A deep breath can turn a potential power struggle into a teaching moment.
Leadership isn’t about removing stress, it’s about managing it so people can learn and grow.
Same with kids. Growth happens through trying, failing, learning, and trying again. When we rescue our children from every challenge, we rob them of resilience.
Parenting Tip:
If they think they don’t need to study for the test, let them experience the result. Don’t call the teacher for a redo. If they don’t get their homework done, let them learn about the consequences. You’re not abandoning them, you’re believing in them – so they can believe in themselves.
It is ok to let them hurt a little.
Let them face the consequences of not preparing. Then be there to reflect and reset together.
Micromanaging crushes confidence. In leadership and in parenting growth comes from ownership.
Empower your kids. Don’t just guide let them take the lead.
Parenting Tip:
Let them pack their own lunch. Let them forget their apple. Let them forget the water bottle. Let them handle things even when it’s messy. The missed apple teaches more than 10 reminders ever could.
When parenting gets overwhelming (and it will), reconnect with your purpose.
Ask yourself:
You’re not raising a project or a problem to solve, you’re raising a person.
Parenting Tip:
Be curious. Ask more questions than you answer. When everything feels like too much, the spilled cereal, the sibling bickering, the teenage eyeroll, pause. You’re not managing tiny employees. You’re raising a future adult who is trying to figure out the world.
You might want to check out this blog post which takes a deep dive into a parenting philosophy that focuses on this approach. Link to gardener blog.
Whether you’re managing a team or guiding a toddler through a meltdown, leadership and parenting share the same foundation:
When you parent like a leader:
And yes… this mindset helps you keep your 💩 together.
It even works at the office.
Questions? Email us at solutions@peaceathomeparenting.com