Peace at Home Blog

How to Recognize the Subtle Signs of Bullying — And What Parents Can Do About It

October 5, 2025 | Ruth Freeman

Bullying is not always obvious. It often shows up in small, subtle ways that are easy to miss, especially when children aren’t sure how to express what they’re going through. As a parent, your connection with your child is a powerful tool for spotting the early signs and supporting them through challenges. At Peace At Home Parenting, we focus on emotional intelligence, connection, and practical strategies to guide you and your child through difficult social situations.

What Is Bullying?

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), bullying is defined as “any unwanted aggressive behavior(s) by another youth or group of youths, who are not siblings or current dating partners, that involves an observed or perceived power imbalance, and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated.”

Bullying can be:

• Direct: such as hitting, name-calling, or threatening in person.
• Indirect: like spreading rumors or excluding someone from a group.

Forms include:

• Physical
• Verbal
• Relational (damaging someone’s relationships or reputation)
• Damage to property

Subtle Signs of Bullying

Parents often expect bruises or tears, but the signs of bullying can be much more subtle. Look for:

• Avoidance of school or specific activities
• Stomachaches or headaches without medical cause
• Sudden changes in mood or personality
• Withdrawing from friendships or avoiding peer interaction
• Loss of interest in hobbies

These signs may be especially difficult to detect during adolescence, when children are more sensitive to peer perception and may be reluctant to share. Brain development during puberty increases awareness of social standing, making peer interactions even more impactful.

Understanding Power Imbalance

Bullying involves an imbalance of power. This could be:

• Physical (size, strength, age)
• Social (popularity, peer influence)
• Economic (access to money or resources)
• Demographic (minority or majority group status)

Even indirect forms like exclusion or rumor-spreading can create significant emotional distress, especially when repeated.

Build Connection to Build Protection

Close relationships are a protective factor against bullying. Kids with at least one strong friendship are healthier, less anxious, and less likely to be bullied. Encourage your child to:

• Explore interests and connect with peers who share them
• Join clubs or online communities with safety measures in place
• Talk about what they enjoy and why

Daily Connection Builds Trust

A daily dose of positive, one-on-one attention can make a big difference. Just 20 minutes of uninterrupted time signals to your child that you are present, interested, and safe to talk to. Put away technology, be playful, and focus fully on your child’s interests.

What Parents Can Do

If you suspect bullying:

• Keep communication open. Ask open-ended questions and listen without judgment.
• Encourage your child to do what they love. This builds confidence and peer connection.
• Model kindness and respect. Your behavior sets the tone.
• Help them ask for help. Encourage your child to speak to a trusted adult.
• Reach out to the school or program. Clarify what support is available.

When bystanders intervene, bullying stops within 10 seconds in 57% of cases. But fewer than half of students say they would try to help. Teaching children how to recognize and respond to bullying empowers them to protect themselves and others.

Final Thoughts

Bullying is complex, but you are not powerless. When you build emotional intelligence, support healthy friendships, and create space for connection at home, you strengthen your child’s resilience. Peace At Home Parenting is here to help you take the next steps with confidence.

Looking for More Support?

• Check out our Workshop Recording: Bullying: Relationships Matter
• Search for what you need
• Explore all our Resource Guides, with quick videos and other resources, for every age and stage
• Visit our calendar of live events

Questions? Email us at solutions@peaceathomeparenting.com

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