October 23, 2025 | Aaron Weintraub, Ruth Freeman,
Ah, the holidays. We all have that picture-perfect image in our minds, don’t we? Twinkling lights, cozy evenings, and perfectly happy kids. But if you’re like most parents, the reality often feels more like a whirlwind of to-do lists, financial worries, and routines that have completely flown out the window.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the doing that we forget what we really want: to simply enjoy this time and connect with our kids.
The good news? It doesn’t have to be this complicated. You can absolutely find more joy and less stress. It just takes a little intention. Let’s walk through some real-world ways to protect your peace and make those meaningful memories you’re craving.
1. Shift the Focus from Presents to Presence The pressure to buy all the things is real. And when our kids start rattling off long lists, it’s easy to get stressed. But let’s remember: deep down, what kids will cherish years from now isn’t the most expensive toy. It’s the laughter, the silly new traditions, and the feeling of connection. They’ll remember you.
If it helps, try setting a simple boundary for gifts, like the “4-Gift Rule”: something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. If finding a balance in this marketing whirlwind feels tricky, we’re actually going to talk all about this in our November Lunch & Learn on 11.19.25r Meaningful Holidays without the Pressure at 1pm ET
2. Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First Who does all the holiday magic? The planning, the shopping, the wrapping, the cooking, the decorating… it’s a ton of invisible work, and it often falls on one person. You can’t be a calm, confident guide for your kids if your own cup is completely empty.
Your kids don’t need a “perfect” holiday. They need you—a present, reasonably calm anchor. This is the time to ruthlessly let go of perfection. Divide the holiday tasks, even if others don’t do them “your” way. The goal is a shared, happy-enough holiday, not a flawless event run by one exhausted ringmaster. This is such a crucial topic, and we cover it in-depth in our “Lighten the Mental Load – Create a Meaningful Low-Stress Holiday and Tame Your Burnout: Mindful Parenting Strategies recordings.
3. Protect Your “Normal” (Just a Little) Think about it: even we get grumpy when we’re overtired and over-sugared. Now imagine being a child. Late nights, endless treats, and no quiet time are a recipe for meltdowns.
A child who is melting down over a broken cookie isn’t being ungrateful; they’re probably just exhausted and overwhelmed. Their behavior is just a signal. You don’t have to be a drill sergeant about routines, but try to protect sleep as much as you can. Plan for “no-event days” where everyone can just be home, in their pajamas, and recharge. Keep healthy snacks on hand. These small bits of predictability are like a lifeline for kids (and adults!) in a chaotic time.
For more tips and tools enter the word “sleep” or “routines” into our Search Tool to get links to the age-appropriate resources you need.
4. Make Space for All the Feelings (Even the Big Ones) With all the excitement and anticipation, the holidays are prime time for big feelings. Kids get overstimulated. They get disappointed. They get overwhelmed.
Our job isn’t to stop the feelings—it’s to be the calm harbor for them. When the meltdown happens (and it will!), get down on their level. Acknowledge the feeling first.
Remember, all feelings are welcome, but not all behaviors are. You can hold both at once: “It’s okay to be mad, but it’s not okay to hit. I’m going to keep us all safe.” Then, later, when everyone is calm, you can circle back and reconnect.
A simple family calendar, posted where everyone can see it, can also work wonders. Let kids help draw pictures or add ideas. It helps them know what to expect and, you might be surprised—what they really want to do is probably simpler (and more connection-focused) than you think.
Learn how to be your child’s emotions coach and calm center in our quick videos in the Peace at Home Starts here library
5. Be a United Front for Family Dynamics Family gatherings can be wonderful… and they can be complicated. If you know you’ll be around a relative who pushes your boundaries or criticizes your parenting, have a game plan with your partner before you go.
Agree on how long you’ll stay. Create a little signal (like a squeeze of the hand) that means “I’m hitting my limit” or “I need you to step in.” Presenting a united, confident front not only supports you but also shows your kids that you’re their secure guides. It’s perfectly okay to keep visits short and prioritize spending time with the people who make your family feel good.
For more tips, Listen to our discussion on Generation Bonds: Nurturing Thriving Relationships Between Grandparents, Adult Children, and Grandkids
6. Acknowledge the Empty Chair For many, the holidays bring up feelings of grief or loss. If that’s you, please be gentle with yourself. It’s normal and okay for this season to be tinged with sadness. You don’t have to pretend to be cheerful 24/7.
In fact, talking openly (in an age-appropriate way) with your kids about feelings—yours and theirs—is one of the best ways to build their emotional resilience. It’s okay to say, “I’m feeling a little sad today because I miss Grandma. I’m thinking about that time we all baked cookies.” It models healthy coping and shows them that all feelings are a normal part of life.
Our Helping Your Child Cope with Grief and Loss quick video found in our School Age or Teen Library can help too.
7. Ditch Comparison (and Find Your Own Magic) It’s time for a hard truth: scrolling through perfect, curated holiday feeds on social media is a fast track to feeling like you’re not doing enough. You are.
Put the phone down. Log off. The real magic isn’t in the matching pajamas or the perfect tablescape. The real magic happens in the small, “in-between” moments.
It’s the smell of cinnamon. It’s the giggles you share while reading a story by the tree. It’s pausing, even for just 10 seconds, to really look at your child’s face, breathe it all in, and think, “This. This is what matters.” That’s the stuff that lasts.
For more support, check out our
The Bottom Line – The best holidays aren’t about perfection; they’re about presence. Your kids don’t need a flawless celebration. They just need you. By setting boundaries, sharing the load, and focusing on those small moments of connection, you can trade the stress for what really matters.
Wishing you and your family a holiday season that feels as good as it looks. We’re so grateful to be on this journey with you.
Questions? Email us at solutions@peaceathomeparenting.com
And now for the shameless plug… Don’t have a Peace at Home Parenting Portal? Let’s fix that. Ask your company, school, or favorite neighborhood group to join us. We’ve got Corporate, K-12 School, and Family Service programs that bring calm to the chaos—no yoga mat required. Click here to join as an individual or family.
Ah, the holidays. We all have that picture-perfect image in our minds, don't we? Twinkling lights, cozy evenings,
October 23 , 2025