Peace at Home Blog

The Parenting Paradox: Doing Less is the Secret to Raising Independent Kids

July 3, 2025 | Louise Edwards

No prizes for guessing why “independence” is our theme this month. But here’s the real reason: more and more parents are worried that their kids will not cope on their own.  Whether “on their own” means handing in homework, showing up for classes, remembering to shower, or navigating the vagaries of a career and adult life. Many parents ask us how to raise independent kids who can handle life’s ups and downs without constant help.

Worry unites us. 

And it’s no wonder. We want to raise independent, capable kids—but anything other than “success” is failure—and many of us consider it our own failure.

The result?

We hover to help them succeed, then worry we’re holding them back. We correct their mistakes, then fear they’ll never learn on their own. It’s a cycle driven by love, but powered by fear. Fear of falling short, both for them and ourselves.

Why So Many Parents Fear Letting Go

It feels so risky. 

We worry other people will think we’re not good parents. We wonder if our child can actually handle the fall. We worry that other parents are doing it better. And let’s be honest, watching our kids struggle? It hurts. It’s easier to step in, fix it, smooth it over. But we haven’t addressed the core challenge: raising kids who can handle what life throws at them.  

What Comparison Is Doing to Us (and Our Kids)

What if the way we’re chasing success is actually working against our kids in the long run? Sure, they might be getting A’s or headed to a competitive school, but will they be able to  bounce back when life throws a curveball and we’re not there to catch it?

Will they in fact, take a shower when we’re not around to hand them a towel and gently (or not-so-gently) nudge them toward the bathroom?

What if the real problem isn’t our kid’s performance–or ours–but the fact that we keep comparing both to everyone else’s?

How to Raise Independent Kids

Do less.

Peace At Home has the tools you need to take a courageous step back, quit comparing and focus on raising kids who are ready for the launch. We can help you raise kids who know themselves enough to set goals and have the confidence to pursue those goals; kids who can manage difficult emotions and build relationships that support them; kids with the ability to handle what life throws at them!

Looking for More Support?

• Search for what you need.
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Questions? Email us at solutions@peaceathomeparenting.com

And now for the shameless plug…
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