Peace at Home Blog

Adult children – I feel like he/she could do so much better..

November 14, 2017 | Ruth Freeman

My daughter is postponing payment of her student loans.  I’m concerned about the interest accumulating.  I’m also concerned with her job choice – she makes money as an online burlesque dancer.  I feel like she could do so much better.

I can certainly understand your concerns and because your daughter is an adult, your work will be to accept your powerlessness for now. I started the online class with a story about a famous writer who went in a lot of different directions before he found his way. This may be a temporary direction for your daughter. Try to understand her goals in doing this work and help her think about other ways she can accomplish those goals. Ask if she would like to think together with you about a spending and savings plan for the future. Use an I-statement and get support from friends and family to accept your powerlessness, step back and maintain a positive relationship with your daughter even though you don’t approve of her current approach to life.

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