Apply Family Friendly Supervision in Ways that Work

Finding the Right Therapist Can Be Like Speed Dating

Peace at Home October 24, 2022

The search for the right therapist can be a lot like speed dating. It can feel tedious, exhausting, daunting, even annoying. You may have to go through several consultations or first sessions to find the “right fit.” And yes, it might feel like a string of first dates. Hang in there. 

Finding the right therapist for you (or your child or family, etc.) is a crucial step in addressing your mental health concerns. Your goal is to end up in a (therapeutic) relationship with someone that you like, who helps you feel safe, and with whom you can be entirely candid. Feeling that you can trust this person is paramount – – someone that ideally helps you feel safe, someone you can talk to, and someone that you can share those not-so-pretty aspects about yourself. You know, the stuff that you are not likely to share on a first date. It’s also important to find someone who both inspires hope and can explain how they work and why their approach works. 

Whether the client is yourself, your child, or your family, you’ll want to come to an agreement about goals for therapy including specifically what will change in terms of feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. For instance, it’s not enough to say that you (or your family member) will feel less depressed, but rather, that they will show an improved mood by engaging in more extracurricular activities (perhaps name how many and how often) or there will be fewer episodes of emotional eating, etc. Specific goals that can be observed really help you get there. In addition, therapists will ideally invite you to assess how the treatment is going from time to time and take responsibility for repairing ruptures to the relationship. 

Even though the goal of therapy can include feeling better, the process may include periods of struggle. One important factor that will keep you engaged when the going gets tough is the quality of your (or your child’s) relationship with the therapist. The therapeutic relationship influences positive outcomes as much, or perhaps more than the treatment method being used by your therapist. 

So back to that speed dating…haven’t found the right one? 

Keep asking for referrals from friends, family, schools, physicians, faith leaders, and other resources. Hang in there with the get-to-know-you process. We project a lot of our childhood experiences onto the therapy process – it is actually an important part of healing. If your parents had difficulty providing what you needed as a child, you may imagine that therapists will be the same way. Just notice your fear and keep meeting folks. The right therapist is out there and your patience and persistence will help you find them.

To explore this important topic watch our recent 

  • LinkedIn Live Kids in Therapy What’s Your Role as Parents?  
  • Free class hosted on October 3rd Mental Health Essentials for Parents: Knowledge and Skills to Support Your Child 
  • Check out our Quick Video Solutions Library (MH)
  • contact us at and let us know how we can help.

Alexandra Schwartz, MA
Ruth E. Freeman, LCSW


Related Posts

Peace at Home

3 Steps to Happy Holidays with Young Children

The holiday season can be a time of great joy and great stress, especially for families with young

Peace at HomeNovember 19 , 2022
Peace at Home

Let’s stop trying to fix children’s mental health

Post-pandemic children and teens are struggling with alarming rates of anxiety and depression as well as suicide. Because

Peace at HomeOctober 25 , 2022
Peace at Home

Finding the Right Therapist Can Be Like Speed

The search for the right therapist can be a lot like speed dating. It can feel tedious, exhausting,

Peace at HomeOctober 24 , 2022
Peace at Home

World Mental Health Day

World Mental Health Day is October 10th and the theme for 2022 is “Make mental health and wellbeing

Peace at HomeOctober 07 , 2022
Peace at Home

Does Peace At Home Parenting make you nervous?

Here at Peace At Home we sometimes worry about making you nervous. Let’s talk about it. If you

Peace at HomeSeptember 30 , 2022
Peace at Home

A Perfect Storm for U.S. Working Families

Children’s Mental Health Crisis and Working Parent Burnout: Companies Can Help One definition of a perfect storm is

Peace at HomeAugust 22 , 2022

Join our mailing lists for more parenting tips