January 2026 | JoAnn Robinson
You are your child’s first teacher. This is why establishing positive routines for your toddler is crucial. Together you and your child will learn what is needed to support their learning to do things.
Children’s inborn preferences and responses to experience—their temperament—will help guide you. It’s important to respect that there are tasks your child will dislike; you can help them gradually learn to do them through persistence and playfulness.
Positive routines for toddlers are simple, repeatable steps that help children cooperate with daily tasks like eating, transitions, and sleep. A toddler daily routine reduces power struggles because your child knows what comes next—and you can guide them with calm, consistent expectations.
For example, some children dislike putting on shoes, but they do need them to play outdoors. You can create a playful routine to put shoes on by giving each shoe a name and speak for them. Have a lively conversation between shoes about wanting to go play outside.
Your child’s developing self-control is the foundation of learning self-care. Self-control enables them to slow down and perform tasks carefully, or to speed up and complete tasks quickly. Self-control begins to develop in the toddler years. You can encourage your child to learn how to do things like carefully put warm food in their mouths or quickly walk across the street holding your hand by providing positive guidance.
Positive guidance is a bit like Mary Poppins’ spoonful of honey. It distracts your child from their impulse to say ‘no!’ Use a short rhyme about blowing on warm foods to cool them—do it with them with a smile. With a cheerful, lively voice make it a game to hold your hand and trot across the street.
The way you talk to your toddler becomes their inner voice, reminding them how to do things. You will encourage self-care skills when you talk about what your child is doing as they do it. You also promote self-control when you talk about feelings. “Your loud voice tells me you might be scared right now. It’s okay. I will sit with you.”
Providing your toddler with positive guidance also means noticing and reinforcing behaviors you want your child to do and overlooking those you don’t. The best reward for your child is your positive attention.
So, give a high five as you say what they did—“You got Bobbie-shoe and Robbie-shoe ready to go outside! High-5!”
Refrain from teasing and making unkind remarks when they make a fuss. Avoid replaying something they did wrong to them or to your co-parent. These lead to shaming, and that undermines their confidence and competence.
Reading picture books about feelings and behaviors is a great way to promote self-care and self-control. A story about someone else—a rabbit, bear, or another small child—allows for conversations about misbehavior and positive behavior without pointing the finger at your child.
As such, routines are the best way to offer positive guidance because a routine is consistent. Parents and children quickly become dependent on routines to get things done.
Spontaneous routines sometimes just happen and in the moment they were created they worked. But not all spontaneously created routines work in the long run. They can be inconvenient and become more and more elaborate as you and your child get at how to meet a need.
In addition, mealtime is a common place for these spontaneous solutions to occur and often leads to a very limited number of foods being acceptable over time. You can get ahead of a downward spiral by creating positive routines.
Try these eating routines:
Toddlers learn best through play, rhythm, and repetition—especially during transitions like cleanup, leaving the house, and shifting activities. In addition, a simple toddler transition routine can reduce meltdowns because the “next step” is predictable.
Try these play-based routines:
This is the heart of positive routines for toddlers: calm structure, playful connection, and consistency
Be intentional about naps. Fewer or shorter daytime naps can lead to a crankier evening that will benefit from a positive routine that leads to sleep. You can adjust your child’s sleep routines. Be sure to offer a quiet and soothing time before sleep.
An older infant or toddler can learn to fall asleep on their own if you put them to bed while drowsy. Have a plan for sleep disruptions. Moreover, when older babies wake in the night, adjust their comfort and rock or pat their back. It is important to minimize talking, though, because you don’t want to encourage them to stay awake.
Quick sleep guideline: Pediatric sleep experts recommend 11–14 hours per 24 hours (including naps) for toddlers (ages 1–2).
Why this matters: A consistent bedtime routine is strongly linked with better sleep outcomes for young children.
How many times should I offer a new food to my toddler?
Many toddlers need repeated exposure—often 10–15 tries—before accepting a new food. Keep portions small, pressure low, and pair new foods with “safe” foods.
What is a good toddler bedtime routine?
A short, consistent routine (same steps, same order) helps toddlers transition into sleep more smoothly and supports better sleep outcomes.
How much sleep does a toddler need?
A widely used clinical guideline is 11–14 hours in 24 hours (including naps) for toddlers ages 1–2.
What if my toddler fights routines every day?
Start small (one routine at a time), keep your words consistent, add playfulness, and praise the behavior you want to see. Consistency is the win condition
Most bedtime challenges improve with a consistent routine and calm, predictable boundaries. But it’s smart to get extra support if sleep problems are persistent, escalating, or impacting your child’s daytime functioning—mood, behavior, school performance, or your family’s well-being. In those cases, consider talking with your pediatrician and/or a qualified parenting professional for guidance tailored to your child.
If you want structured help without guesswork, Peace at Home can support families with:
The goal isn’t a “perfect sleeper.” It’s helping your child build calm routines, confidence, and healthy sleep skills—so nights feel more peaceful for everyone.
Peace at Home is offered through employers, schools, and family service organizations. If you’re a parent and want access, share Peace at Home with your HR/Benefits team, manager, or parent ERG and ask if they can add it as part of your employee benefits support.
Remember that you promote toddler self-care and self-control through daily routines. It’s an important part of what it means to be a parent. Toddlers learn best when you use consistent, positive guidance. Creating sustainable routines will balance your toddler’s needs with yours.
Be intentional about what you want them to do. Toddlers are ready to cooperate and learn when you are calm and positive. Introduce songs, rhythm, and rhymes to make positive routines enjoyable. So, as your child’s needs change, adapt their routines to promote new skills.
Questions? Email us at solutions@peaceathomeparenting.com
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Establishing positive routines with your kids is possible. Let us help you. Talk to our team at Peace at Home Parenting Solutions today!
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