Peace at Home Blog

College Kids Home for the Summer: 5 Steps to Navigate New Dynamics and Stay Connected as a Family

April 7, 2025 | Ruth Freeman

Your college freshman is coming home for the summer, and you’re picturing a sweet family reunion. It will help to keep in mind that a year of newfound independence means adjusting to a different rhythm at home for both of you. Your child has likely undergone some big changes. 

You may want to start thinking about:

• What are the house rules and responsibilities for my emerging adult who’s been on their own for almost a year? 
• What expectations do they and I have about family time? 
• How can we spend time together in ways that are the same and different from before? 

Here are some key strategies that will help keep the peace and strengthen connections:

• Set boundaries while respecting independence. One of the biggest challenges you’ll face is balancing your child’s newfound independence with household expectations. Your student may be used to managing their own schedule and making decisions without checking in. But home is a shared space where family routines and responsibilities matter.

✅ Tip: Approach these conversations with curiosity rather than control to build trust and respect.

• Listen more and talk less to build emotional safety. After months of living apart, your child may not immediately open up about their college experience. Focus on listening and give them space to share at their own pace.

✅ Tip: Create low-pressure opportunities for conversation, like taking a walk or cooking together.

• Watch for yellow flags that indicate mental health concerns. College life can be emotionally taxing. Many students return home carrying stress, anxiety, or even depression. Be aware of changes in their behavior and mood.

✅ Tip: Learn more about protecting your child’s mental health in our Quick Video Library – Protecting Your Child’s Mental Health, with information to support your Mental Health Literacy.

• Invite your student to reflect and set goals for fall. Summer is a great time to reflect on the past year and plan for the future. Encourage your student to think about their growth and set new goals for the upcoming semester.

✅ Tip: If they don’t journal already, suggest they start a morning practice to write down their thoughts.  (attach the expressive writing PDF?)

• Manage expectations and enjoy your time together. Your child’s return home may not look the way you imagined. They may prioritize time with friends, sleep in late, or crave more independence. This doesn’t mean they don’t value family time—it’s part of their journey.

✅ Tip: Manage your expectations and approach the summer with flexibility.

Some Final Thoughts: Create a Safe Space for Growth and Connection

The person you dropped off at move-in day is not the same person you are picking up. Respect (and enjoy!) their growing independence, listen with compassion and set clear boundaries. You’ll strengthen your relationship and help prepare them for what comes next.

Your child has grown emotionally, socially, and intellectually. All that change can shift family dynamics. Clear communication, mindful negotiation, realistic expectations, and a focus on creating a safe emotional space, can strengthen your relationship and help them prepare for a successful sophomore year. 

For a deeper dive into planning for your college student’s return this summer, explore Peace at Home’s Protecting Your College Student’s Mental Health Resource Page for more ways to support your college student. 

Join young adult expert and family therapist, Marc Lehman, LMFT who will be teaching “College Kids Home for the Summer: Navigate New Dynamics, Set Goals & Prepare for Fall” on Wednesday, April 9th at 7:30pm.   During this live, interactive workshop you’ll gain practical strategies and approaches to creating a positive summer for your student and the whole family. Click here to learn more and register.