Peace at Home Blog

Is Your Child Stressed or Struggling? Recognize the Signs and Learn How to Help 

April 7, 2025 | Ruth Freeman

While we’re living in a period of stress and turmoil, we all want to protect our children from pain and uncertainty. But when they’re struggling emotionally, it can be hard to know how to help. 

You may notice your usually happy, energetic child seems withdrawn, irritable, or anxious. Perhaps they’re having trouble sleeping, their grades are slipping, or they’re struggling to concentrate. These changes can feel frightening or overwhelming, leaving you unsure if you’re doing enough or saying the right things.

You’re not alone. When your child is struggling, the most powerful thing you can do is be there to listen—without fixing or judging. Children need to know they can express their feelings without fear of disappointing you or adding to your stress. By creating a safe, supportive space where they feel heard and understood, you’re already giving them a kind of support that they need.

Recognize the Signs

Children don’t always have the words to express what’s bothering them, but they often show distress through changes in behavior, mood, and daily habits. These shifts can be easy to miss. Paying attention can help you recognize when your child may need extra support.

• Emotional Changes: Is your child more irritable, tearful, or anxious than usual? Sudden mood swings or emotional withdrawal can be signs that they’re struggling.
  
• Sleep and Appetite Changes: Difficulty falling asleep, frequent nightmares, or changes in eating habits may indicate emotional distress.
  
• Difficulty Concentrating or School Struggles: A noticeable drop in grades or trouble focusing may mean their mind is preoccupied with worry.
  
• Increased Clinginess or Avoidance: Younger children may become more clingy, while older kids might withdraw or avoid conversations altogether.
  
• Physical Complaints: Headaches, stomach-aches, or fatigue with no clear medical cause may be their body’s way of expressing emotional overwhelm.
  

One Way to Help: Hold space without fixing

When your child is hurting, your instinct may be to jump in and try to fix things. But what they need most is a safe space to express their thoughts and feelings without judgment. Listening with empathy reassures them that they are not a burden—and that they don’t have to protect you from their struggles.

1. Listen First, Don’t Fix

Resist the urge to offer immediate solutions. Instead, focus on being fully present. Ask open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling about everything?” or “What’s on your mind?” Then, just listen. Give them space to share their thoughts without rushing to offer advice.

What you might say:

• “I’m here to listen. You don’t have to figure this out alone.”
• “It’s okay to feel this way. I’m not going anywhere.”

2. Validate Their Feelings

Your child needs to know that whatever they’re feeling is okay—and that their emotions won’t disappoint or overwhelm you. Let them know it’s normal to feel scared, angry, or sad, and that you’re there to support them.

What you might say:

• “I understand that this is hard.”
• “It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. I’m here.”

3. Create Emotional Safety

Children who feel emotionally safe are more likely to open up and share their true feelings. Assure your child that they don’t have to hide their worries or protect you from their struggles. Learn ways to be an everyday calm anchor for your child and how to make your family a safe place. 

What you might say:

• “I can handle this, and we’ll get through it together.”
  “You don’t have to carry this alone. I’m here to help.”

When to Seek Extra Support

Even with your best efforts, there may be times when your child needs more help than you can provide.. Seeking professional support doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re taking proactive steps to ensure your child gets the help they need.

Consider professional help if:

• Your child’s distress lasts more than a few weeks.
• Their emotions interfere with daily life at home or school.
• They express feelings of hopelessness or talk about wanting to hurt themselves.
• Your gut tells you that your child is in distress and needs more help.

Join a candid Lunch & Learn conversation with founder Ruth E. Freeman, LCSW as she interviews Viana Turcios-Cotto PHD, LCP on stress and trauma in children. Is Your Child Stressed or Struggling? Learn the Signs and How to Help.  Thursday, April 10th at 12pm Click Here To Register