Lesson Category: School Age

Parents are vulnerable to passing on to their children unhealthy patterns of the past. Understanding your own childhood - both the positive and difficult experiences - can prevent us from recreating the harm to our children that was done to us.

Children thrive on clear and consistent expectations and boundaries but family conflict often starts with rules they feel are unfair or unreasonable. The key to setting the stage for cooperation is to include your entire family in conversations about needs and expectations in a way that makes your child feel heard and respected even when they don’t get exactly what they want. 

Does your child have trouble making and keeping friends? 

Are you unsure about how to help? 

We all hope that our children will make meaningful connections with peers and mentors. When they struggle with making friends it is difficult not to worry. Often, our first instinct is to try to teach specific social skills and manners but the truth is that strong relationships come from the inside out. What we call charisma can be broken down into empathy and confidence. Self-awareness and self-acceptance are the foundation of your child’s social life.

It has been said that perfectionism is a trait that makes life an endless report card on accomplishments or appearances. The tendency toward perfectionism has increased significantly among young people over the past 30 years. It can be associated with depression, anxiety, eating disorders and even suicide. The needs to feel accepted and to be cared about tend to drive perfectionism and without treatment, may get worse over time. 

Perfectionists strive for flawlessness in themselves and/or in others. If you’re wondering whether you have these tendencies, the chances are that you do to one degree or another.

Human beings are built to reflect each other’s emotions. When children display intense feelings and behaviors, our brains naturally reflect those. We start to feel stressed, angry, fearful, or overwhelmed, just like our kids. The most helpful thing we can do is to develop a brain calming practice and make it part of our daily routine.

• Not sure what the difference is between sexual orientation and gender identity?
• Confused by terms your child might be using, like pansexual, queer, transgender, or nonbinary?
• Feeling the need for some guidance about how to positively respond to your child?

There are many ways youth may be talking about their sexual orientation or gender identity that might be new or confusing for parents. Having a basic understanding of the words being used, along with some helpful ways to respond, can assist you in supporting your child.

• Does the idea of talking with your child about sexual orientation feel difficult or even a little scary?
• Are you confused about the changing ways that many in our society see these issues?
• Feeling the need for some guidance about how to support your child?

Raising healthy children with an ability to sustain meaningful relationships is a challenge even in the most ideal situations. Add on hormones, attitude, personality, technology and shelter-in place - welcome to the tween and teen years! This interactive online class will include a conversation about parenting the independent, emerging adult while still nurturing the playful child within. 

We will talk specifically about building relationships during this very unpredictable time. You will have the opportunity to explore making stronger connections through conversation and confrontation in the context of real-life situations.

The way we praise children affects how they see themselves. The language we use can actually help or hinder their desire to learn and their level of effort, as well as their ability to stick with a challenging task. You might be surprised to learn that telling your child how smart they are can actually decrease effort. Research tells us that we can help even discouraged children cope with frustration and see failure as an opportunity to learn rather than giving up. Use specific, powerful feedback to encourage your child to take appropriate risks and feel more confident to try new things. 

Each of us grows up in a unique family and when we come together as a couple, we don’t usually talk about our parenting beliefs until children are actually on the scene. The more intentional parents are about sharing their stories and values with each other, the more likely it is that you can agree on parenting approaches.  

Mothers often parent in ways that are different from fathers and those differences can be helpful to children, but only if you recognize the strengths of each other’s approaches.. “Marshmallows” often join with “Generals” because in some ways they need each other. But over time your differences can become more dramatic and problematic.