Parents: Teach Your Brain to Practice Gratitude

Peace at Home May 1, 2017 | admin

Our brains are like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones. We notice, remember and focus on the negative far more effectively than the positive.

There are two important things about this biological fact for parents:

  • You are more likely to notice your child’s misbehavior than positive behavior. And since you notice it, you will be more likely to give your child attention for her negative behavior. Since children long for attention – especially from you – you are likely to be rewarding misbehavior with plenty of attention and overlooking lots of positive behavior that your brain just doesn’t notice on its own.
  • Your children will grow up with this same focus on the negative unless you help them train their brains otherwise.

Some of us are born with a “glass half-full” temperament so this tendency on the part of our brains may be minimized somewhat in those cases. However, this neurological inclination to notice and remember the negative is true for everyone, especially under stress. So what can you do?

Your brain can be trained in the same way you train your body at the gym. Practice, repeat, practice, repeat and you get stronger. One simple training you can provide yourself and your child are practices of gratitude. Not only do these train your brain to focus on the positive, but they also change the atmosphere of your family and influence your children’s behavior toward more cooperation.

In our family we held hands before dinner every evening and each person said one thing he or she appreciated about the day. It helped settle everyone down for the meal, made it more of an “occasion,” and helped us hear a little about each other’s day and view of the world. Perhaps most importantly, it taught our brains to scan each day for the positive. And with practice, your brain gets better and better with that underlying search for the positive. We continued to say our mealtime “appreciations” through adolescence and to this day even though they are all adults. Now our kids are doing it with their kids. It is a legacy I am proud to pass along.

For more parenting support, please join us for an Upcoming Live Class  or browse our Catalog of Recorded Content including Quick Video Solution Libraries with handouts.  Questions? Email us at Solutions@Peaceathomeparenting.com 

TOPICS

Related Posts

Peace at Home

To Whom do Children Belong?

In a recent CNN Townhall, a young trans person named Niko from Arlington, VA asked the current governor

Peace at HomeMay 15 , 2023
Peace at Home

Back To Basics: Peace At Home Principles to

Post-pandemic life has left most parents feeling stressed and overwhelmed. You may try to figure out shortcuts that

Peace at HomeMay 15 , 2023
Peace at Home

A Gift For Yourself This Mother’s Day: Practical

It’s no secret that moms need to practice self care. You hear it all the time—you can’t pour

Peace at HomeMay 10 , 2023
Peace at Home

Protect Your Child’s Mental Health: Recognize When They Need

The world we live in is increasingly complex and can be difficult to navigate for anyone, especially for

Peace at HomeApril 24 , 2023
Peace at Home

Moms and Mental Health: Put Your Oxygen Mask

It’s no secret that moms often take on the mental load for the whole family, putting the needs

Peace at HomeApril 18 , 2023
Peace at Home

School Shootings: What Now? 

In the wake of yet another horrific school shooting, you are likely having a variety of emotions. Stress,

Peace at HomeApril 03 , 2023

Join our mailing lists for more parenting tips

Peace at Home