The Magic Formula: Decrease Stress and Increase Connection to Inspire Cooperation

Peace at Home March 31, 2023 | Ruth Freeman, Stephanie Rondeau,

In the midst of day to day stress, creating and maintaining connection with your child can take tremendous focus and effort. In times of conflict, it’s easy to let stress overcome other thought processes. This can lead to a spiraling pattern between you and your child—your stress can increase theirs, leading to decreased cooperation. All of this leads to more stress, and the cycle continues. This is why it’s important to try to work on your connection with your child before times of increased stress arise. 

Consider the following ways to strengthen your parent-child connection. You may notice less conflict and more cooperation overall: 

  • Respond with warmth. Both before and during times of stress, notice the tone and voice with which you respond to your child. Young children respond best to calm, melodic voices. Even as they get older, they will pick up on stress and anger in your voice. These will increase their stress levels. Take the time to listen to your own tone and adjust accordingly. It can make a world of difference in your communication with your child. 
  • Acknowledge your child’s feelings. It’s no secret that children have big feelings about things that may seem insignificant to adults. But in their world, those things are just as important as our stressors are. Try to recognize your child’s feelings as valid, even when you don’t quite understand. Helping children to feel seen and heard increases their sense of connection, leading to better cooperation with you. 
  • Accept your child as a unique person. In addition to recognizing their feelings, try to make a point to remember that your child is a unique individual. Just like you and your partner may have different ideas and perspectives, your child will have their own as well. 
  • Spend quality time together. Quality, focused time together is an excellent way to build your connection with your child. Consider putting the phone away in another room, and doing an activity that your child chooses specifically for the two of you. Just a few minutes a day can make a big difference in your relationship. 
  • Notice your own stress. Your child’s mood will often mirror your own, so high stress times for you can easily lead to high stress levels for them. Consider learning more about stress management for yourself if this is something that you know you struggle with. 

A quick way to put all this together in a few words is “connection before correction.” Take time to connect with your children to increase cooperation in your household. For more information on connecting with your children and the effects of positive discipline, check out our Quick Solutions Libraries, Parenting Principles for Progress Not Perfection and Connection = Cooperation. And make sure to check our calendar for upcoming Live Interactive Workshops on this and many other parenting topics.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

TOPICS

Related Posts

Peace at Home

Gratitude is More Than Saying Thank You 

University of North Carolina Psychology Professor, Andrea Hussong, has conducted research on one of the most important questions

Peace at HomeNovember 22 , 2023
Peace at Home

The Awkward Transition: Navigating Puberty with Confidence

The onset of puberty in girls is associated with a drop in self-esteem. And the big change can

Peace at HomeNovember 06 , 2023
Peace at Home

Revamp Your Morning Routine with a Dash of

We all want to start our day with a sweet family connection before going our separate ways. But

Peace at HomeOctober 18 , 2023
Peace at Home

Give the Gift of Family Stories at Holiday

Family meals are associated with better school performance, fewer behavior problems and lower risk of substance use in

Peace at HomeOctober 16 , 2023
Peace at Home

5 Big Picture Strategies for Making Business Travel

Do you experience that sinking feeling when you need to travel for work?  Struggle with guilt and think

Peace at HomeSeptember 28 , 2023
Peace at Home

5 Common Myths About Eating Disorders in Teens: What

Maybe you’ve had a hunch your teen is struggling, but you’ve talked yourself out of worrying too much.

Peace at HomeSeptember 19 , 2023

Join our mailing lists for more parenting tips

Peace at Home