The way we praise children affects how they see themselves. The language we use can actually help or hinder their desire to learn and their level of effort, as well as their ability to stick with a challenging task. You might be surprised to learn that telling your child how smart they are can actually decrease effort. Research tells us that we can help even discouraged children cope with frustration and see failure as an opportunity to learn rather than giving up. Use specific, powerful feedback to encourage your child to take appropriate risks and feel more confident to try new things.