Here at Peace At Home we sometimes worry about making you nervous. Let’s talk about it.
If you are a Peace At Home parent you have likely made some changes in the way you think about and act toward your kids. You know, for example, that kids need your attention and if it’s focused on misbehavior, you’ll get more of that. You may know that 60% of school achievement is influenced by the ways you support your child at home. Maybe you’ve discovered that the parent-child relationship is built on your child feeling seen, safe, soothed and secure. Knowing all of this, and more, might make you a little nervous. It’s a big job.
So…please keep in mind that above all your job as a parent is to lean into being your child’s calm center. Finding calm inside yourself is the most important gift you have to give your family as well as yourself. If this feels impossible, you are not alone. But there are tools and they work when you use them.
What does that mean on a day to day basis? Even as you are thinking about strategies to deal with behavior and school and relationships, choose to ask yourself first, “Are my thoughts creating stress inside my body right now?“ What do I need so I can find calm inside myself? Only then will you be able to handle asking the important question, “Am I triggering calm or stress in my child right now?” This question is your best approach to protecting your child’s mental health.
Your preschooler refuses to even start the bedtime routine. You walk past your 11 year old and instead of doing homework, he is busily scrolling through YouTube channels. Your 16 year old talks to you like you are their servant.
Your brain tells you all kinds of stories about these behaviors or even some unconscious history is bubbling up and you are reacting with intensity before you know it. Learn to recognize that uncomfortable feeling in your body we call stress or anxiety or just anger and step away. Regroup. Calm your brain before you react. Yup, a tall order. But nothing is more important. You don’t have to do this perfectly and you don’t have to go it alone.
Dr. Gabor Maté tells us that, “Connection is the essence of safety.” That’s why our teachers love to hear from you during classes. That’s why our Parent Guides want to understand your challenges and connect you to the resources you need. That’s why we listen with care to our Facebook group conversations and host monthly Q&A’s where you can ask questions and get support. All this new parenting guidance can make you nervous. Let’s connect and deal with that together.
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