Exchange conflict for compromise and communication

by Sarah Cody

View at https://www.wtnh.com/on-air/connecticut-families/positive-co-parenting-part-1-exchange-conflict-for-compromise-and-communication/1731905496

BURLINGTON, Conn. (WTNH) – Divorce is difficult.  Oftentimes, mom and dad need to put aside contentious feelings to make sure their child still feels stable and secure.  News 8’s Connecticut Families is taking a two part look at how to co-parent in a positive way.

“There were other times when she wasn’t too happy with me but was still a good co-parent,” says Justin Michaels, of Burlington.

He, and his ex-wife Chantel, divorced when their son, Remi, was a baby.

“It can be really stressful when you’re young, both in college,” says Justin.  “We owned a home, had a newborn.”

Chantel adds: “It’s hard.  You have this little human being that loves both of you very much and it was hard enough to be split and share my time.”

At first, co-parenting was difficult as Justin and Chantel figured out their new relationship.  They worked hard – agreeing on one thing: the didn’t want Remi to feel like he was in the middle.

“I come from a split family, so, I knew exactly what I didn’t want to do,” says Justin.

“Particularly when there’s a romantic relationship that’s broken up, that child becomes a symbol of the loss, a symbol of a lot of things,” says Ruth Freeman, a licensed clinical social worker and founder of Peace at Home Parenting Solutions, a team of educators and child development specialists that offer online classes.

She says don’t make a child take sides.

READ MORE about Positive Co-parenting >

What you’ll learn

• Students will be able to apply parenting strategies that increase child cooperation and confidence and reduce family stress.

Are there any course requirements or prerequisites?

• An open mind, willingness to reflect on your own behavior as a parent, readiness to make small changes in habits and the desire to have Peace in your Home!

Who this course is for:

• All parents and caregivers who seek more positive approaches to discipline and communication.

Thu, Feb 28, 20198:15 PM – 9:00 PM EST

Q&A Sessions are free for all parents and caregivers who participated in one of our live online parenting classes. Participants will have a chance to ask questions about the new approaches they are practicing as well as other issues if time allows. They will have a chance to connect with other parents, share challenges, and celebrate successes.

Presenter: Ruth Freeman

Peace at Home Parenting guidance does not stop when this live online class is over. After class, you will be invited to join our private Facebook group. There, you will have unlimited access to our team of parenting experts, who will share tips and answer parents’ questions. This Facebook community is also a place to connect with other caring parents, like you. We welcome parents to share challenges and celebrate successes.

In addition, you will receive access to free monthly “Question and Answer” sessions. During these sessions, you will be coached in applying the skills you learned in Peace at Home classes and again you will connect with other parents working to improve skills.

When a parent makes their own health a priority, it is reflected back on their family through increased energy for quality time with children, positive role modeling, and decreased stress levels.

But how? How do we make time and find the energy to care for ourselves among everything else that must be handled? It comes down to motivation, goals, and mindfulness…and some thoughtful strategies for making health and fitness work in your life. Rather than using our wellness plan as a punishment or added stressor on top of an already overwhelming to-do list, let’s talk about ways to make it work.

Busy parents who succeed at making wellness a priority create small yet significant changes in their nutrition and fitness routine. Building those small changes one upon another results in bigger changes over time.

Small, short term goals are the key to success when it comes to healthy habit change. Goals that are too big can feel overwhelming. This can lead more stress, worry, and a fear of failure, often leading to goals being abandoned or “put on hold” for an easier time. Small changes added one or two at a time, on the other hand, can easily become a part of your routine. And small steps over time add up to sustainable, long term change to your health and well-being.

Here are some easy steps you can start right now:

1. Practice mindful nutrition
   1. Avoid mindless munching – unplanned scavenging is a hidden roadblock to nutritional success
   2. Stop, pause and breathe – take 10 seconds to slow down “emergency eating”
   3. Ask “Do I really want this?” – recognize hunger vs thirst, boredom or stress
2. Make fitness easier
   1. Set out your workout clothes the night before – seeing them will remind and inspire you
   2. Create a buddy system – either working out together or just daily check-ins
   3. Purchase simple at home equipment such as resistance bands or dumbbells.
3. Get support
   1. Reflect on your resistance to asking for help
   2. Ask loved ones to encourage you or notice progress or inquire kindly about how to support you to address barriers
   3. Ask for help with meal prep or childcare

Eating nutritious foods, getting in enough physical activity, sleeping enough, and decreasing stress can sound like a daunting task when you think about it all at once. But separate those down into small, manageable steps (think one more glass of water per day; 30 more minutes of exercise per week), and over time you can build a solid foundation of healthy habits. Forget crash diets and all-in gym plans. Small steps are the key to success for busy parents who already have too much on their plate

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Stephanie Rondeau is a Boston based certified health coach who is also the parent of a busy toddler and Corporate Wellness Outreach Coordinator and Teacher for Peace At Home Parenting. Stephanie is an Athletic Trainer, a CSCS (Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist), a personal trainer, and small group fitness instructor. She helps women to treat themselves with compassion, practice positivity, and find the motivation and strength to live their healthiest lifestyle. Check out Stephanie’s FREE upcoming class, ““Wellness on the Run: Quick, Real Life Strategies for Parents of Young Children”

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