P@H on Channel 8 – WTNH Positive Co-Parenting Part 1

Exchange conflict for compromise and communication

by Sarah Cody

View at https://www.wtnh.com/on-air/connecticut-families/positive-co-parenting-part-1-exchange-conflict-for-compromise-and-communication/1731905496

BURLINGTON, Conn. (WTNH) – Divorce is difficult.  Oftentimes, mom and dad need to put aside contentious feelings to make sure their child still feels stable and secure.  News 8’s Connecticut Families is taking a two part look at how to co-parent in a positive way.

“There were other times when she wasn’t too happy with me but was still a good co-parent,” says Justin Michaels, of Burlington.

He, and his ex-wife Chantel, divorced when their son, Remi, was a baby.

“It can be really stressful when you’re young, both in college,” says Justin.  “We owned a home, had a newborn.”

Chantel adds: “It’s hard.  You have this little human being that loves both of you very much and it was hard enough to be split and share my time.”

At first, co-parenting was difficult as Justin and Chantel figured out their new relationship.  They worked hard – agreeing on one thing: the didn’t want Remi to feel like he was in the middle.

“I come from a split family, so, I knew exactly what I didn’t want to do,” says Justin.

“Particularly when there’s a romantic relationship that’s broken up, that child becomes a symbol of the loss, a symbol of a lot of things,” says Ruth Freeman, a licensed clinical social worker and founder of Peace at Home Parenting Solutions, a team of educators and child development specialists that offer online classes.

She says don’t make a child take sides.

READ MORE about Positive Co-parenting >

Any where, any time class

registerYou have made a miracle – no, not just your kids but making the choice to carve time out from your busy life to focus mindfully on your children and your relationship with them. I’m deeply grateful to be joining with you in this process.

If you grew up in a family where you felt safe, soothed and truly seen, this will be a piece of cake. If you are like over 2/3 of adults in the US, your childhood had some challenges and those may make this process a bit more challenging. Take your time, get support and remember this is a process. We are looking for progress not perfection.

You want your kids to listen, maybe even the first time you ask. We are going to get you there but first a few basics.

  1. Do you feel safe, soothed and truly seen today? Do you have connections among your family or friends that really support you?
  2. How well are you managing your stress? Even if you are positive with your kids, if your inner life is in emergency mode, your kids will sense that and reflect it.

You will find attached to this class some tools to help you improve self care and well-being. You may want to start there for a couple of weeks before you begin taking action steps with your kids. And even if you don’t, be kind to yourself in this process.

Remember, progress, not perfection.

So let’s get started. 

What you’ll learn

  • Students will be able to apply parenting strategies that increase child cooperation and confidence and reduce family stress.

Are there any course requirements or prerequisites?

  • An open mind, willingness to reflect on your own behavior as a parent, readiness to make small changes in habits and the desire to have Peace in your Home!

Who this course is for:

  • All parents and caregivers who seek more positive approaches to discipline and communication.

Next Q & A Session

Thu, Feb 28, 20198:15 PM – 9:00 PM EST

Q&A Sessions are free for all parents and caregivers who participated in one of our live online parenting classes. Participants will have a chance to ask questions about the new approaches they are practicing as well as other issues if time allows. They will have a chance to connect with other parents, share challenges, and celebrate successes.

Presenter: Ruth Freeman

Peace at Home Parenting guidance does not stop when this live online class is over. After class, you will be invited to join our private Facebook group. There, you will have unlimited access to our team of parenting experts, who will share tips and answer parents’ questions. This Facebook community is also a place to connect with other caring parents, like you. We welcome parents to share challenges and celebrate successes.

In addition, you will receive access to free monthly “Question and Answer” sessions. During these sessions, you will be coached in applying the skills you learned in Peace at Home classes and again you will connect with other parents working to improve skills.

Upcoming Events in February

Establece un ambiente de cooperación (2-12 años) Set the Stage for Cooperation (2-12 years old)

¿Deseas que tus hijos tengan confianza y cooperen? ¿Sueñas con un hogar más calmado?
A veces logras que tu hijo siga instrucciones mediante la intimidación o el miedo. Tal vez has llegado a creer que estas son las únicas maneras de hacer que tu hijo…

This training is offered several times. Select the date and time that works best for you.

FREE Live Online Class: How to Take the Stress Out of Parenting

Parents are less stressed when their kids cooperate. Children are more cooperative when they feel positively connected with their parents. This live online class will help you understand and apply:
• Communication skills that build strong parent-chi…

Infant Toddler Brain Development: Why Parents Matter So Much

When parents understand the basics of brain development they are not surprised at the creative ways their children learn and explore. Brain development basics help parents understand what they want to promote and what they may want to avoid in respon…

Price: $10.00 USD

This training is offered several times. Select the date and time that works best for you.

Disciplina Positiva que funciona (2- 12 años) (Positive Discipline that Works (2 – 12 Years Old))

¿Tu hijo pasa mucho tiempo castigado?
¿Te preocupa ser demasiado estricto o demasiado débil?
¿Frecuentemente piensas si hay una mejor manera?
Los niños criados con disciplina positiva tienen mayor confianza y cooperan más. Descubrirás que existen …

This training is offered several times. Select the date and time that works best for you.

Mealtimes: End the Power Struggle

Family meals are associated with school success, lower rates of teen problems and an assortment of positive outcomes. Yet, parents find it hard to keep consistent mealtimes and often mistakenly use feeding and mealtimes to try to enforce healthy eati…

Price: $10.00 USD

This training is offered several times. Select the date and time that works best for you.

Anxious children: what really helps? (2 – teens)

Does any of this sound like your child?
• Clinging, crying and/or tantrums when you separate
• Excessive shyness, avoiding social situations
• Constant worry
• Avoiding situations or places because of fears
• Complaints of frequent stomacha…

Price: $10.00 USD

This training is offered several times. Select the date and time that works best for you.

FREE 5 Mindful Habits to Reduce Stress and Increase Happiness

Learn how to make mindfulness a habit for your family with easy tips you can use to reduce stress and strengthen the bond of love.
Presenters: Dana Asby, M.A., M.Ed.
and Melanie Laguna, M.S.

Peace at Home Parenting guidance does not stop when th…

Wellness On The Run for Busy Parents

When a parent makes their own health a priority, it is reflected back on their family through increased energy for quality time with children, positive role modeling, and decreased stress levels.

But how? How do we make time and find the energy to care for ourselves among everything else that must be handled? It comes down to motivation, goals, and mindfulness…and some thoughtful strategies for making health and fitness work in your life. Rather than using our wellness plan as a punishment or added stressor on top of an already overwhelming to-do list, let’s talk about ways to make it work.

Busy parents who succeed at making wellness a priority create small yet significant changes in their nutrition and fitness routine. Building those small changes one upon another results in bigger changes over time.

Small, short term goals are the key to success when it comes to healthy habit change. Goals that are too big can feel overwhelming. This can lead more stress, worry, and a fear of failure, often leading to goals being abandoned or “put on hold” for an easier time. Small changes added one or two at a time, on the other hand, can easily become a part of your routine. And small steps over time add up to sustainable, long term change to your health and well-being.

Here are some easy steps you can start right now:

  1. Practice mindful nutrition
    1. Avoid mindless munching – unplanned scavenging is a hidden roadblock to nutritional success
    2. Stop, pause and breathe – take 10 seconds to slow down “emergency eating”
    3. Ask “Do I really want this?” – recognize hunger vs thirst, boredom or stress
  2. Make fitness easier
    1. Set out your workout clothes the night before – seeing them will remind and inspire you
    2. Create a buddy system – either working out together or just daily check-ins
    3. Purchase simple at home equipment such as resistance bands or dumbbells.
  3. Get support
    1. Reflect on your resistance to asking for help
    2. Ask loved ones to encourage you or notice progress or inquire kindly about how to support you to address barriers
    3. Ask for help with meal prep or childcare

Eating nutritious foods, getting in enough physical activity, sleeping enough, and decreasing stress can sound like a daunting task when you think about it all at once. But separate those down into small, manageable steps (think one more glass of water per day; 30 more minutes of exercise per week), and over time you can build a solid foundation of healthy habits. Forget crash diets and all-in gym plans. Small steps are the key to success for busy parents who already have too much on their plate

Stephanie Rondeau is a Boston based certified health coach who is also the parent of a busy toddler and Corporate Wellness Outreach Coordinator and Teacher for Peace At Home Parenting. Stephanie is an Athletic Trainer, a CSCS (Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist), a personal trainer, and small group fitness instructor. She helps women to treat themselves with compassion, practice positivity, and find the motivation and strength to live their healthiest lifestyle. Check out Stephanie’s FREE upcoming class, ““Wellness on the Run: Quick, Real Life Strategies for Parents of Young Children”